Sunday, October 23, 2011


The part of town I have to walk through to get to work can get pretty seedy, so I always make sure I wear my big black pair of eff off Dior sunnies and dress pretty conservatively, so as to not encourage any form of interaction.

This morning I was lost in thought when the beep of a truck’s horn snapped me back to reality; I looked up at the truck that had beeped, and there was the driver, pointing at me, and then he pulled down his high-visability polo in a lewd manner, exposing his pec to me whilst licking his lips.

Congratulations bogan – you are so obese that the man boob you exposed to me is actually bigger than my own. I realise the point of your actions was to signal to me to flash you, but pray tell, why I would need to when the set on you could rival Pammy Anderson. Why don’t you just admire yourself in the mirror instead of sexually harassing poor innocents such as myself?

 I feel disturbed and disgusted, like I need to go to a shrink for support. The truck driver on the other hand, is in desperate need of support from Triumph.

Okay, I’m going to go vom now…

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