Thursday, December 15, 2011

Five Most Used Products This Month

Palmer's Cocoa Butter - a rich, thick, sweet smelling product that's intensely moisturizing and leaves skin baby soft and smooth.

Yves Saint Laurent blush brush - love the shape of the handle and bristles of this brush. It's so soft, and blends blush beautifully.
Perfect hairspray - good hold, matte finish, not too shiny, great for holding curls and creating volume. LOVE the pretty pink can too!

Bobbi Brown Lipstick in 'Bare Pink' - perfect for nude lip without that 'dead look' going on.

St Tropez Tanning Mousse - fuss free, easy to apply and gives a natural non-orange glow.

Sunday, October 23, 2011


The part of town I have to walk through to get to work can get pretty seedy, so I always make sure I wear my big black pair of eff off Dior sunnies and dress pretty conservatively, so as to not encourage any form of interaction.

This morning I was lost in thought when the beep of a truck’s horn snapped me back to reality; I looked up at the truck that had beeped, and there was the driver, pointing at me, and then he pulled down his high-visability polo in a lewd manner, exposing his pec to me whilst licking his lips.

Congratulations bogan – you are so obese that the man boob you exposed to me is actually bigger than my own. I realise the point of your actions was to signal to me to flash you, but pray tell, why I would need to when the set on you could rival Pammy Anderson. Why don’t you just admire yourself in the mirror instead of sexually harassing poor innocents such as myself?

 I feel disturbed and disgusted, like I need to go to a shrink for support. The truck driver on the other hand, is in desperate need of support from Triumph.

Okay, I’m going to go vom now…

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Music I'm Loving

1. Foster The People
2. Gypsy and the Cat
3. Beyonce
4. John Williams Soundtracks

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sign Dyslexia - it's real dude!

Are you one of the 99.99% of dumbass shoppers who can't read sale signs?

For everyone who works in retail, I'm going to do a little public service announcement on your behalf. People... read sale signs before opening your mouth or your wallet! 

Today a sign with the following writing was displayed in my store:

'$50 off when you spend over $200 on full priced sunglasses.'

I thought it was a pretty simple concept to grasp, but apparently not.

Here is a taste of the idiocy I endured:

- "These sunglasses are $49.95, so does that mean I get them for free?"
- "They're originally $500, so they come down to $250?"
- "You only discounted them by $50, the sign says 50%."

And these people aren't school kids, still learning their times tables. They're grown ass adults of whom Education Queensland has apparently deemed fit to graduate school and go on to hold down jobs in the real world.

I pity the misguided businesses who have employed these fools who can't distinguish a percentage sign from a dollar sign or know that 49.95 is less that 200. Worse yet, some of these idiots have procreated, and bring their equally unknowledgeable offspring into the store to torture me on a daily basis.

As you may have sensed... I get just a little bit annoyed at having to explain simple one sentence signs to people who should be perfectly capable at reading. And it's not just one or two people, it's the majority of customers.

Thus, I have concluded that sign dyslexia is real, and it is rife amongst the Australian population. After careful consideration, I deduced that a swift fly kick to the mouth any time a sign was mis-read would be an effective way to curb the spread of this disorder. Or perhaps a sign stating a 50% surcharge for vocalised idiocy would get people reading signs a little more carefully?

I'd be happy to trial both :-)

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Wish List

1. Chanel 'Gabrielle' lipstick

2. Coloured gel eyeliners

3. Sigma brush set

4. Vichy Dermablend concealer

5. Chanel Matte Lumiere Foundation

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Chocolately Valentine Goodness!

So I made these truffles for my friends for Valentines day... they're so easy to make and so so so delicious. They taste like tiny little chocolate cheesecakes!

My actual Valentine (my boyfriend) didn't even get a look in at these truffles, poor boy! I gave them to some of my friends, and the lovely girls who work at my favourite Thai restaurant around the corner.

So here is the most simple recipe EVER to make yummy, chocolately balls of goodness!

Crush up the whole packet of Oreos and mix them through softened cheese.

Roll mixture into balls, and dip in melted chocolate.

Pop in the fridge to harden.

Divide into containers.

I thought they turned out really cute!

Monday, February 7, 2011

My Foundations

1. Make Up Forever High Definition Foundation (#118 Flesh)
2. Chanel Pro Lumiere (#20 Clair - Cameo)
3. MAC Studio Fix Fluid (NC20)
4. MAC Studio Sculpt (NC25)
5. Estee Lauder Double Wear Light (Intensity 1.0)

I always have a couple of foundations on the go. My skin type is combination and I am prone to break outs, so most of my foundations are medium to full coverage.

I use MAC Studio Fix on a daily basis atm because it's full coverage and long wearing. I want my foundation to still look good at the end of the day and I feel as though Studio Fix does this. I like Estee Lauder Double Wear Light for every day wear for this reason too.

I would love to be able to use Make Up Forever HD every day because it has the niiiiicest finish, but because you can't find it in Australia, I'm trying to save this bottle I got in France for as long as I can! As the name suggests this make up was made for High Definition technology, so it looks great even in front of a high def camera. A great foundation if you're having important photos taken eg. wedding day.

I was so excited about my Make Up Forever HD Foundation purchase, I had to document it!

Chanel Pro Lumiere gives medium to full coverage. The bottle says it's a semi-matte finish, and I'd agree. It can get a bit too 'dewy' for my liking after a couple of hours, especially if the weather is humid.

MAC Studio Sculpt is my winter foundation. It's too moisturising for me to use during summer, but is perfect for winter. To get a flawless finish, I recommend using a natural bristle brush to buff it into the skin.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Comfort Above All Things

These all leather Urban Soul wedges are so comfortable I can walk around in them all day and not have my feet covered in blisters and feel as though I've broken both my ankles. A comfy pair of heels are worth their weight in gold.

Shoes Glorious Shoes

I can't wait to wear these tartan boots this winter with black stockings and chunky knitted things. Got them for an absolute steal through They're suprisingly comfortable (although I've only pranced around my room in them thus far). Bring on the cold weather! I want to take them for a spin...

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Delicious Stationary

The other day I went for a little expedition to the mall with a dear friend of mine. As we were waiting for her Mac to get fixed, we wandered into Borders. I was in search of John Green’s first novel ‘Looking for Alaska’, however could only find ‘Paper Towns’ - disappointment.

In the search we stumbled upon some of the cutest stationary you could imagine; thank you cards with vintage polaroids of Paris on the back paired with tiny matching envelopes, notebooks masquerading as well-seasoned passports that had been on many an adventure, diaries thick with fresh paper and black and white pictures of New York and London on the cover.

Ugh! I wanted to buy it all. The journal was just begging for me to write juicy secrets on its clean white pages; I had visions of myself sitting in some cosy cafe, wearing a beret, sipping coffee and writing profound thoughts and musings with a fountain pen. I really needed those thank you cards to send to the hosts of those amazing dinner parties I frequent; I would comment (in perfect cursive by quill of course) on the cucumber sandwiches and peach pie, and the host’s lovely frock. The passport notebooks were an absolute necessity of course; where else was I going to document my journey of self-discovery in far away lands? Hmm?

Me writing a postcard to my Grandparents whilst in Paris - a rare moment of stationary usage.

In reality, I have about five journals sitting on my desk at home, with only the first ten pages used in each. I will say that those pages do make for exceptionally entertaining reading. Not because I was a talented writer, but because what I was writing about was incredibly lame; “Dear Diary, If I had to choose my favourite member of 5ive, it would be J because he’s a really good rapper”, “Dear Diary, the Blue Light disco is tonight and I bought the coolest top from Just Jeans to wear to it!’ Dear Diary, why won’t Mum let me go to the Year 10 Graduation party? She’s ruining my life!”, “Dear Diary, who’s a rebel? I’m a rebel - I drank my first Cruiser tonight!!!”.

Moving on...

Of course I don’t frequent amazing dinner parties which would require me to send a thank you card the following day. Replace cucumber sandwiches, peach pie and frocks with pizza, Baskin Robbins, uggs and the Mighty Boosh box set.

Booshing it with the girls.

And as for jotting my overseas travel experiences in my absolutely necessary Passport notebooks, the fact that I still haven’t put the photos from my Grade 10 school trip to Japan in an album is a good indicator that there is a slim to nil chance that I would be motivated enough to document my future journeys by hand.

Once it dawned on me that I would probably never use this incredibly cute stationary, it made me a bit sad. There really is nothing better than opening the mailbox and finding a letter waiting there with your name on it - not a bill, not your local politician telling you to vote for him and not the latest Harvey Norman catalogue - but an actual personalised letter written just for you. Someone took the time out of their day to think of you, sit down and write you a letter. (Bonus points if it’s written on pretty stationary or is from overseas.)

Gone are the days of a handwritten party invitation - Facebook has successfully driven them to extinction. I’ve even heard of people sending out their wedding invites by Facebook, eww.

I also really wish I did have the motivation to write in a journal regularly; whilst my past journal entries are very embarrassing and make me cringe, I’m glad I have at least a little reminder of that stage of my life. I often can’t remember what I did last week, let alone ten years ago.

Maybe my (very late) New Years resolution should be to incorporate more stationary into my life. It sounds weird, but it might be a good move. Maybe writing in a journal would slow me down a bit, allow me to reflect more, and give me a reason to stop watching Glee re-runs. And if I wrote a letter to someone, I’m sure it would brighten their day somewhat (I would ensure use of awesome stationary and bad ass calligraphy skills).

Ok it’s decided. I am going to embrace pen and paper (that's parchment and quill if you're Harry Potter) and the written word. This is my resolution. If you would like to contact me this year please do so by letter only; alternatively you can find me at your local cosy cafe (just look for my beret).

Friday, January 28, 2011

Loves of the Moment:

1. vlogbrothers - for entertaining videos with academic merit. DFTBA.

2. absolutelybeautifulthings (Spiro and Black) - for gorgeous Brisbane - based interior design

3. HRH Collection - for great jewellery and personal style

4.  non-disposable coffee cups that look like disposable coffee cups

5. Cloud Nine Hair Straightener - for powerful hair-straightening and styling

They're not shorts if you can see bum cheek.

When purchasing denim shorts, please keep this simple rule in mind. I have had my eyes assaulted numerous times this summer by bum cheeks hanging out the bottom of "denim shorts". I don't care how great you think your bum is, or if you are wearing them to a festival; once I can see arse, they're officially classified as underwear. The fact that they are made out of denim, is irrelevant - they're NOT shorts. 

My worst experience was walking behind a girl in a shopping centre, her "shorts" were smaller than your Bonds boylegs, and there was major cheekage on display.... I thought things couldn't get any worse, until she dropped her wallet. She attempted to squat and pick it up. Alas! Her "shorts" were too tight for such a maneuver! I could see her hesitate. Then she bent over to retrieve her wallet... 


It was not a sight I needed nor wanted to see. Scarred for freakin' life.



Lindsay Lohan is a complete mess and even she manages to get it right....