Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sign Dyslexia - it's real dude!

Are you one of the 99.99% of dumbass shoppers who can't read sale signs?

For everyone who works in retail, I'm going to do a little public service announcement on your behalf. People... read sale signs before opening your mouth or your wallet! 

Today a sign with the following writing was displayed in my store:

'$50 off when you spend over $200 on full priced sunglasses.'

I thought it was a pretty simple concept to grasp, but apparently not.

Here is a taste of the idiocy I endured:

- "These sunglasses are $49.95, so does that mean I get them for free?"
- "They're originally $500, so they come down to $250?"
- "You only discounted them by $50, the sign says 50%."

And these people aren't school kids, still learning their times tables. They're grown ass adults of whom Education Queensland has apparently deemed fit to graduate school and go on to hold down jobs in the real world.

I pity the misguided businesses who have employed these fools who can't distinguish a percentage sign from a dollar sign or know that 49.95 is less that 200. Worse yet, some of these idiots have procreated, and bring their equally unknowledgeable offspring into the store to torture me on a daily basis.

As you may have sensed... I get just a little bit annoyed at having to explain simple one sentence signs to people who should be perfectly capable at reading. And it's not just one or two people, it's the majority of customers.

Thus, I have concluded that sign dyslexia is real, and it is rife amongst the Australian population. After careful consideration, I deduced that a swift fly kick to the mouth any time a sign was mis-read would be an effective way to curb the spread of this disorder. Or perhaps a sign stating a 50% surcharge for vocalised idiocy would get people reading signs a little more carefully?

I'd be happy to trial both :-)

1 comment:

  1. I stumbled on to your blog today and have read a few of your posts and I have to say I love your writing style!

    This post in particular made me laugh as it just brought back all the bad memories from my retail days.

    I really hope you start posting more regularly because I'd love to read more of your posts :)