1. Customs... what's customs? (I could've brought in a prickly pear, fire ants, a wooden sculpture from Thailand and a Brahman with mad-cow and they would've been none the wiser).
2. Not putting on weight whilst in France is IMPOSSIBLE. (3kg gained in two weeks, I kid you not).
3. Scurvy is imminent. (Apparently framboise macarons don't help ward it off either... who knew?)
4. They don't do tap water (bottled flat or sparkling are your options).
5. Don't step out on a crossing expecting cars to stop for you. (They won't, and you'll be as flat as a Nutella crepe before you can say 'Merde!')
6. French girls seem to have two modes of make up (super natural 'Emmanuelle Alt style' or 90's-disco-glittery-eye-shadow-liquid-eyeliner-pink-lipgloss-combo.)
7. The French pay a lot of tax.
8. Australians don't pay a lot of tax.
9. If you're stuck for conversation with a French person, mention tax. (If you're heading to France, I consider this the most precious of all knowledge I could bestow upon you. This one little fact will provide you with at least an hour's worth of conversation. At least. If the convo wanes, throw in Gerard Depardieu moving to Russia, and you're good for another 20 minutes. You're welcome.)
10. Don't mention that you eat cheddar cheese to a French person. (I made this mistake and apart from being told in no uncertain terms that 'vie do not eat zis awful cheese', I got the distinct impression they wanted to sprinkle me with holy water and make me eat a wheel of brie.)
11. Whilst we're on the topic of cheese, don't order anything with munster cheese on it whilst in a restaurant, unless you have a gas mask in your handbag. (To say it is pungent is an understatement.)
12. You will never have to use the phrase 'where can I find a florist/bakery?'
13. One of my French friend's houses is as old as Adelaide.
14. My favourite French shop to pronounce is 'Naf Naf'. Closely followed by 'Princesse Tam Tam' (Btw, Princess Tam Tam is where it's at for gorgeous lingerie).
15. Don't leave France without a bottle of Bioderma.
16. When in Alsace, do as the Alsatians do; drink reisling and cremant, and eat tarte flambee.
17. Notre Dame ain't got nothin' on the Strasbourg Cathedral.
18. The French love foie gras, and love to serve it for their special guests.
19. I was a special guest.
20. I hate foie gras.
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| A very Frenchie Christmas to you all! |
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| Alsace has such an interesting mix of German and French architecture. |
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| Getting a tour of the Strasbourg Christmas Markets with a glass of Gluhwein (mulled wine) in hand. |
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| Heading to a church Christmas concert. |
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| My nemesis! |
Au Revoir!
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