Friday, July 20, 2012

Sisterly Beauty and Fashion Advice For High Schoolers

 - So, it's Grade 8, and you're thinking to yourself 'Hey, I'm in High School, I'm pretty mature now, I think it's time for me to dip my toe in the vast sea of makeup products! Let me grab this black kohl eyeliner pencil and smear it around my eyes!' Don't tell me you weren't thinking that, because you totally were. This is what every Grade 8 girl thinks, so don't even try lying to me girlfriend! As someone who has not only dipped her toe into the vast sea of make up, but immersed at least two whole feet, I will tell you this - kohl eyeliner pencils are a bitch. They smudge, they smear, and in my opinion, are only good for achieving a smokey eye (which you shouldn't be wearing if you're in Year 8, missy!). Here is a list of make up that is acceptable for young lasses such as yourself 1. Clear mascara. 2. Concealer. 3. Tinted moisturiser 4. Lipgloss. 5. Cream blush.  You will notice I have NOT included eyeshadow, as I can guarantee you don't own a blending brush, and therefore will apply it badly. I have also NOT included foundation, as you're probably going to buy it from Big W with your friends, choose the wrong shade, and put too much on, resulting in what I like to call 'cake face'. You do not want to have 'cake face', boys do not want you to have 'cake face', teachers do not want you to have 'cake face' and your mother certainly doesn't. So stay away from foundation until you can go to a department store and get it professionally matched to your skin, okay? Okay.

- Don't spend a lot of money on your formal dress. Questions such as 'why?', 'how did Mum let me go out of the house like that?' and 'I payed how much?!' will enter your mind upon viewing your formal photos a year or two on. I chose I lovely fuschia raw silk dress, that was fine, except for the fact that it had a drop waist accentuating my short legs and I had never worn heels or that much make up before and felt insanely uncomfortable the whole night. The night is overrated, you'll never wear your dress again, and it's a whole lot of hoopla over nothing! Every single one of my friends regrets spending so much money on their formal dress. Learn from us who went before you, and parted with too much hard-earned cash (well, Dad's hard-earned cash).

- Impulse is not perfume! Neither is anything that a celebrity has made. This is especially true if made by Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian or Katy Perry. No,

- Stop complaining about having to wear your uniform. TRUST ME, you do not want to have to go through the ordeal of picking out an outfit every day before school. Uniforms are the great equaliser; they make everyone look equally as crap. So stop fretting about how you look frumpy in it, or how it's a disgusting colour, you have better things to worry about, such as hmmm, school work perhaps?

- Cleanse, tone, moisturise. This is non-negotiable. It will help fight pimples and save you many tears! If you don't know what sort of skincare to use, head to the internet! There are so many blogs and vlogs out there to help you, so take advantage of them!

- Preppy pony tails and buns are totally cute hairstyles for school!

- You WILL get teased if you have a unibrow or hairy lip - kids are mean like that. Tweezers and wax strips, my friend!

- Boys razors and shaving cream work better than that pink, berry-scented stuff they market to us girls (it's cheaper too!)

Voila! Sisterly advice imparted.


  1. This is hilarious! I wish I had read something like this when we were in year 8. Totally agree, kohl eyeliner should be illegal for people under 18 x